


My World

by gaydaractivate04



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: And in love, after the ice, he wakes up, my boys are gay, written a bit like a poem
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-11
Updated: 2020-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-01 05:06:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23109715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gaydaractivate04/pseuds/gaydaractivate04
Summary: The world is still spinning.The world is still spinning and he is still breathing and the war-the goddamned war-is still there.How could any of that be true though, if his whole world is gone?
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Comments: 3
Kudos: 9





	My World

Hands missing his by inches, a blue jacket fading from view. The clattering of a train on tracks, wind howling in the winter.

He watched him fall, scream echoing through his very soul. 

They found him like that, the Commandos. Sitting against a cold metal wall, hands clenched around his shield. 

Thy pulled him to his feet, no words needed, and brought him to debrief. Words buzzing like flies in his ears, staring and staring and staring at the cup of water in front of him.

A woman with blue eyes and brown hair and a white uniform brought him it. He should thank her for that. 

Reality doesn’t set in until the night, when he looks to the cot next to his and sees it empty. 

Cold.

Boots sitting at the foot of it, polished, a tin and rag on the ground nearby. Bucky always hated it when his kit was left out, bed unmade.

So he sets the boots in the ground and straightens the blanket, uncaring and unknowing of the pitying looks cast his way.

The next morning, after a night of staring at a tent ceiling, he gets up. Comes to an impossible conclusion.

The world is still spinning.

The world is still _spinning_ and he is still breathing and the war- _the goddamned war_ -is still there. 

How could any of that be true though, if his whole world is gone?

Gone. 

Gone into the afterlife, golden light a halo around his head. His mother and father and his world, all there together. All he had to do is get to them. Find a way to join them. 

Because maybe if he did, there wouldn’t be this pit of cold and snow and ice inside of him where there used to be light.

Then comes the chance, one final plan. 

It works, _finally_ it works. He’s speeding to the ice, leaving a love behind for his world, reassuring her as the cold creeps closer. 

He smiles when the water comes crashing in, compass clutched in his hand, shield at his feet. Then closes his eyes and waits for the light.

———————-

He wakes up in a play. A skit. A goddamned movie set. 

The woman tells him he’s in a recovery hospital, home from the war, as if they’d ever let him _leave._

This woman, this nurse or soldier or whatever she’s supposed to be, is _off_ . Her hair is down, curls hanging loose. The tie is wrong, not matching regulation, and her _accent_ -where is it? 

She said they’re in New York, a ball game from the past playing on the radio. 

When he asks where they are really, her expression goes cold. She hadn’t rehearsed for something that wasn’t on the script.

So he breaks down walls and runs, knocking down men and women in suits, sprinting for the outside. 

And he gets out, the gray walls giving way to shining buildings and blue skies. 

The blue sky, so much bigger than he remembered.

He only hesitated for a moment, before he’s running again, hoping that he hasn’t forgotten the city that he lived in.

Then Times Square erupts before him, huge screens and billboards, the colors so bright and vibrant. Cars are rushing around him, blocking off crowds as he spins around and around and around.

A man greets him, tells him what happened. Where and when he is. 

The crash didn’t kill him, he didn’t get to go home. Not to his family, not to the missing part of him.

And somehow the world kept spinning.

**Author's Note:**

> Kinda spur of the moment, just wanted to put it out there. 
> 
> Hope y’all liked it, thanks for reading
> 
> Any constructive criticism welcome


End file.
